The adoption journey is a test of patience. And for those of us who have a Type-A personality, the adoption process offers many opportunities to give up any control you think you might have. I was challenged recently after reading a blog post written by Jeremy, whose family is adopting two boys from Ethiopia. His post is definitely worth reading – here’s an excerpt:
“. . .However, halfway through the process that person who just loves Jesus and wants to rescue orphans can turn from one who counts it all joy to one who is full of grumbling murmurs. In the form of prayer requests and ‘journey updates’, they excuse their sin as venting and being open with their feelings. The scary thing is what those feelings are revealing about what’s going on in their heart. Who are they really serving in this matter?
“Adoptive parents can begin to think the world should stop and someone should just hand them their child. They sound like the kids in the aisle of Walmart throwing a temper tandrom demanding their toy. Sadly, the orphan becomes not a child in need but a thing that they want and want now…” – Read Jeremy’s full blog post
Good news – our home study update is finally done! We received our new home study in the mail from our social worker on Wednesday. It took a bit longer than we expected. Since our place on our agency’s waiting list was not contingent on completing this home study update, I was not as stressed about getting it done.
So what’s next? We’ll spend the next couple of weeks updating our dossier paperwork so when we do receive a referral our paperwork will not be too old. It’s been almost 17 months since we went on our agency’s waiting list. We haven’t received any updates from our agency recently – if you recall, the update in December said we may have another 12 months until we are matched with a child. I am hoping it won’t be that long, though. Stay tuned. . .
In the midst of a troubled world, broken by sin, why should we have hope for the future? Many Americans who have trusted in their wealth have seen their hope evaporate.
The adoption process can seem hopeless. Thankfully, we have Jesus. The song, For the Moments I Feel Faint, by Relient K deeply resonanted with me.
“Never underestimate my Jesus.
You’re telling me that there’s no hope.
I’m telling you your wrong.
Never underestimate my Jesus.
When the world around you crumbles
He will be strong, He will be strong.”
Even if God chooses not to bless us with a child, this promise holds true. Jesus will be God and we will have hope.
The federal adoption tax credit has made our adoption much more affordable. And we are hoping it will still be around when we complete our adoption so we can take advantage of it. The tax credit is set to expire in December 2010 unless Congress votes to continue it.
If you have a blog, you can post the widget/button about H.R. 213 to your sidebar to raise awareness about this legislation (see my sidebar) – just cut and paste the following code to your site:
Waiting in line at the Starbucks drive-thru today, I placed my order and waited. And waited. When I finally drove up to the window after sitting behind a customer who must have had 20 questions about her order, the barista told me my drink would be free since I had to wait so long. Wow. That’s good customer service. It’s on days like today I wish I had placed an order for a venti instead of just a short mocha. It doesn’t matter though – I’ll still take the complimentary drink
Waiting is hard — this is probably an understatement for many families who are adopting. We have been on our agency’s waiting list for about 16-17 months. I don’t think a day goes by when I don’t think about adoption or our child-to-be in Taiwan. I’ve realized recently that I need to focus less time on our adoption. I am the type of person that likes to zero in on projects. . .set goals, complete tasks, work with a purpose. For the adoption at the moment, there is little I can do. We are currently waiting for our adoption agency to review our home study update. . .hopefully it will be finalized next week, then we will be on to updating our dossier paperwork.
So my current focus has shifted to homeschooling and learning all I can about curriculum and teaching our children. I was excited to hear that Virginia’s largest homeschooling convention (hosted by the Home Educators Association of Virginia) will be free for parents of preschoolers this year – we were already hoping to attend, but we are happy to save a few dollars.
This week I learned of another homeschooling conference. In honor of the 10th anniversary of The Well-Trained Mind, Jessie Wise and Susan Wise Bauer, authors of the book and curriculum, will be featured at a conference in Williamsburg this spring.
Life will be very busy once we are matched with a child and move closer to completing our adoption. In the meantime, hopefully I can put this “down-time” to good use and get ready for the challenges ahead with homeschooling.
When it comes to sick children, I am all for parents keeping their kids home and away from others while they are contagious. I’ll admit, when my child gets sick, I try to figure out who gave them the germs. But we are in “sick season” and despite my best efforts (and my refusal to stay inside and away from people all winter), it’s virtually impossible to keep the germs away.
Both of our kids came down with a cold last week. The first couple of days are always the hardest. . .when their noses run constantly and their sleeping is interrupted with coughing spells. The kids were pretty much all better on Sunday but we decided to keep them home from church, just in case, plus if there are other germs lurking around, we want them to be healthy before they pick up anything else.
A couple of days later, the kids were pretty much back to normal. So I decided it was okay to go ahead and put them back into a childcare class during one of my meetings. Soon after I dropped them off, I was summoned to pick up one of my kids and take her home. She was fine when I dropped her off. But now, I am told, she had yellowish discharge coming from her nose. Then I was told, it’s greenish-yellowish discharge. Interesting. . .since my daughter has never had anything green coming from her nose – that would be cause for alarm. I picked her up – she’s fine. She was fine the rest of the day. Occasionally she would ask for me to blow her nose, but she’s the type that asks before you even see anything coming from her nose. I personally think the teachers that day were a little hyper-sensitive and over-reacted when they asked me to remove her from the classroom. But I guess that’s their prerogative.
Then I found this article in the New York Times yesterday. . .it’s written by a doctor, on the topic of children too sick to be around others:
“The child with fever clearly needs to stay home, as does the child who is vomiting or is just plain miserable.
On the other hand, I do remember getting several calls from day-care directors or school nurses to inform me that although my child seemed happy and active, there was in fact a lurking fever — and I remember biting back the question, what kind of zealot takes the temperature of a happy, active child?
But of course, they were worrying about the other children. And that is a fair question with any child who is borderline sick: who is infectious, what’s the risk, and is there anything we can do to reduce it?” – Read the full article at The New York Times, February 9, 2009
So, moms and dads, any thoughts? Should my children stay in hibernation all winter, just in case?
Well, it doesn’t look like the proposed adoption tax credit will make any progress in the Virginia General Assembly this year. I was disappointed the bill was not voted on again this session, and never made it out of the Finance Committee. As part of my personal lobbying effort, I emailed all of the committee members and called my own delegate, also a member of the Finance Committee. I also contacted several adoption support groups in Virginia to rally supporters to contact their delegates in the General Assembly. I spoke several times with the delegate’s office who sponsored the bill, Delegate Chuck Caputo. Dave and I even offered to testify before the Finance Committee on behalf of the bill. But since the bill was not discussed in committee, we did not get that opportunity. The committee chairman decides which bills will be on the docket, and unfortunately HB2298 didn’t make the cut. I wrote to the committee chairman, Delegate Harry Purkey, to let him know I was disappointed.
Delegate Caputo called me this morning and said he had spoken with Chairman Purkey about HB2298 and other bills offering a tax credit or other tax relief. Chairman Purkey apparently was reluctant to bring the bill to a vote because of Virginia’s current budget shortfall.
Delegate Caputo assured me he would introduce the adoption tax credit bill again next year, and I intend to start my lobbying efforts earlier than I did this time. The state senators and delegates need to hear from supporters in their districts if the adoption tax credit is ever going to pass in Virginia.
