The word “journey” is defined as a single passage along a fixed course, or a process or course likened to traveling, perhaps over great distances. When we started our adoption process, I think we knew it was going to be a long journey but we are only now beginning to understand patience and what it truly means to wait. We know God has chosen a child for our family, and in His perfect timing, we will meet our new son or daughter. In the meantime, we believe God is using our journey to teach us that He is sovereign and we must trust Him.
We are at the six month mark of waiting to be matched with a child from Taiwan. . .and we expect to wait quite a bit longer. Even after families are matched with a child, it typically takes four to six months for the court to finalize the adoption before an adopting family can travel to bring their new son or daughter home. Jackie and her family have already been waiting six months since they received a referral for a little girl they have named Lucy. Jackie’s husband has written and performed a beautiful song for their daughter - click here to access the song on You Tube. You may want to grab a box of tissues first. . .it will bring tears to your eyes.
I have learned a little more about quilting since my first post about this project. A good friend who reads our blog told me she chuckled at the thought of me sitting down to make a quilt. I can see why she thinks it may be a little humorous. The year before our first child was born, I decided to take up crocheting. I signed up at a craft store for a class on crocheting and arrived very enthusiastic about my new hobby – I had visions of crocheted baby quilts and other handmade gifts. By the end of that class, the instructor was so frustrated with me — not because I wasn’t trying but because I just couldn’t get the hang of it.
So now, on to quilting. I checked out a book from the library on the basics of quilting. I read chapter one, and that’s all it took to bring me back down to reality. It is unrealistic to think I could devote enough time and energy to learning the art of quilting, while trying to keep up with two children and everything else required to keep our house running. A few years from now, maybe I will have more time on my hands but right now it seems too big a task to take on without help.
I contacted a local quilting store who put me in touch with a quilter. I hope to meet with her in the next week or so to learn a bit about quilting and discuss whether she will be able to help me with this project – she had not heard of a “100 Good Wishes Quilt” but seemed to be interested in learning more about it. Stay tuned for further updates. . .
Category A: Things I control - my clothes, my diet, what church to attend. . . Category B: Things I do not control - the family I belong to, my life. . .
We often pretend that almost everything is in “Category A”. In the movie Stranger than Fiction, Harold Crick attempts to take control of his life in a dramatic way. He believes that his death is imminent. Harold is advised to stay in his apartment without doing anything. Don’t answer the phone, don’t get up. Do nothing. He doesn’t like a television show, but he is afraid to change the channel. At this point, a front-end loader bursts through his apartment wall and swallows the television.
Harold just had a dramatic realization that there are more items in “Category B” than he previously thought.
As parents, we often have a false belief that we control our children’s destiny. If we have the perfect parenting technique, then we would have the perfect child. But this is not true. We are sinful parents with sinful children that make their own choices. Of course we are called to be influencers, but that does not make us God.
As we go through this adoption journey, there are many “Category B” events out there. We need to trust in God who is sovereign and realize who we are and who He is.
Our adoption journey has opened my eyes to the needs of orphans. There are an estimated 143 million orphans worldwide. While I understand that not all families will be called to adopt, the Bible tells us that Christians are to minister to orphans.
“Pure and undefiled religion before our God and Father is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself unstained by the world.” – James 1:27
Laura Christianson’s blog, Exploring Adoption, provides an excellent resource on orphan care ministries and ways to help. I would encourage you to check it out!
If you are interested in seeing true stories of families who have adopted, you should check out the Hallmark Channel’s website. All of the episodes of adoption: real families. real stories are available to watch on the website. Just from clicking through the episodes, the producers of the program seem to show a true picture of what the adoption process is like. And they look at all types of adoptions: domestic, international, special needs, healthy newborn, and so on. More information about the series is available at: http://www.hallmarkchannel.com/publish/consumer/home/shows/adoption.html
There is a tradition among some adoptive families, especially those adopting from China, to create a quilt for their new child. From what I understand of the tradition, it originated in the northern part of China. Families make a Bai Jia Bei, or 100 Good Wishes Quilt, to welcome and celebrate a new life. It is customary to invite friends and family to contribute a patch of cloth and a wish for the baby. Part of the patch of cloth is sewn into the quilt for the baby, and the other part of the cloth goes into a scrapbook with the wish for the child. The quilt contains the blessings from all the families and friends who contributed a piece of fabric.
I am contemplating whether to make a quilt for our child’s homecoming. It would be a fun way to involve family and friends in our adoption journey. However, I am not a seamstress. . .in fact, if I need something hemmed, I take it to the tailor. The idea of putting together a quilt is a bit daunting. I have read on some websites that you can send the patches of material to a quilter who will make the quilt for you, but that can be expensive.
The other concern I have is whether our child would even enjoy or appreciate something like this. We do not know yet whether we will be adopting a boy or girl – we left that open to our agency and the orphanage to decide. Would a boy care about a quilt? I do plan to create a life book for our child to look back on as he or she grows up and wants to learn about his or her birth history and family.
If any of you are quilters, please leave a comment with suggestions on how to get started and learn about quilting. And I would love to hear, too, from any families who have adopted, any words of advice or wisdom in creating a keepsake for our new child.
John Piper, pastor and adoptive father, recently gave an insightful, five-minute video commentary about adoption. You can hear his talk by visiting the Desiring God blog.
Author and speaker Laura Christianson is offering free copies of her book, The Adoption Network, all through the month of March. The book is about developing an adoption support community. We have been praying about how to start an adoption ministry at our church and this book looks like a great resource. For more information about this book and the free offer, visit Laura’s blog.
A special thank you to Billie, another mom adopting from Taiwan, for sharing this info about the free book.
Since we began the process of adoption, we have been praying for an increased passion for Christ and His kingdom. Are you passionate for Christ? We have been thinking about what that means and how it works out in our lives. We don’t have the whole answer, but we believe part of the answer lies in this:
A passionate believer wants God more than anything else.
Jonathan Edwards, colonial preacher, theologian and Princeton University’s first president, described a passion for Christ as God being the “best portion of a Christian”. In one of his sermons, Edwards asks several questions to test our devotion and passion for Christ. I have paraphrased four of these questions here.
1) What’s the main reason you want to go to heaven?
A) Avoid hell B) Reunite with friends and relatives that have passed away C) Be with Jesus
2) Which of the following would you prefer?
A) Live on earth in prosperity and health forever, but never know God B) Leave the earth and be with Him in Heaven
3) Assuming you would live forever on earth, which of the following options would you choose?
A) Live in earth in Beverly Hills without God B) Live in poverty in a third world country with Him
4) Assuming you would get to heaven either way, what would you prefer?
A) A life of strict obedience and discipline and intimacy with God B) A life of ease with minimal contact with Him
I’m sure that many of you can pick out the “right” answers. That’s not the point. The purpose is to show us how our desires for Christ compare to other desires in our lives. As we fall short, we need to repent and cry out to our merciful Father.
Proverbs 31 Ministries President Lysa Terkeurst (also an adoptive mom) is currently hosting a recipe swap on her blog. She has encouraged her readers to share a recipe by linking a recipe back to her blog. Our family tried yet another new Asian dish tonight that I thought I would share in the recipe swap – Chicken-Almond Stir-Fry.
It was very tasty and I would highly recommend trying it – it was very easy to make. The only caveat about making it: I have a small wok pan (10 inches) and it was at capacity once all of the ingredients were added. It also took a little longer than the recipe stated for the chicken and vegetables to cook, but I think this was also due to the size of my wok. This recipe came from Southern Living’s Our Best Easy Weeknight Favorites Cookbook. Enjoy!
Chicken-Almond Stir-Fry
Yield: 4 servings
Ingredients
2 tablespoons vegetable or sesame oil
4 skinned and boned chicken breast halves, cut into thin strips
1 (2.25 ounce) package sliced almonds
1 (16 ounce) package frozen broccoli, carrots and water chestnuts
1 tablespoon cornstarch
1 tablespoon brown sugar
½ teaspoon ground ginger
½ cup soy sauce
1/3 cup pineapple juice
Hot cooked rice
Directions
Pour oil around top of a preheated wok, coating sides, or in a large nonstick skillet. Heat briefly at medium-high (375 degrees). Add chicken and almonds; stir-fry 2 minutes. Add frozen vegetables; cover and cook 4 minutes, stirring once.
Combine cornstarch and next four ingredients; add to wok. Cook, stirring constantly, 2 to 3 minutes or until mixture thickens. Serve over rice.
