I just finished reading Deborah Fallows’ Dreaming in Chinese. I am just fascinated with the Chinese culture, and her book addressed some of the issues I had encountered during our time in Taiwan. For instance, some of the Mandarin phrases seem too blunt, but what may seem rude to me is not all considered rude in China (and I assume, Taiwan as well). For instance, ‘Bú yào’ was a phrase we used frequently during our time in Taiwan. It means ‘don’t want’ and is typically used to say you are not interested in something, or to turn down food or other offers. It would seem more appropriate to me to say, ‘no, thank you.’ However, this is an acceptable and standard way to turn down an offer. She goes on to say that she learned the Chinese find Westerners use ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ too often and that to them, the overuse of using those phrases may be considered impolite:

“My Chinese friends say…we use way too many of them for Chinese taste. A Chinese linguist, Kaidi Zhan, says that using a please as in “Please pass the salt” actually has the opposite effect of politeness here in China. The Chinese way of being polite to each other with words is to shorten the social distance between you. And saying please serves to insert a kind of buffer or space that says, in effect, that we need some formality between us here.” – Excerpt from Dreaming in Chinese

I probably said ‘xiexie’ (thank you) a thousand times while we were in Taiwan. No one seemed offended…and many seemed appreciative we even attempted to speak the language.

Another chapter talks about the evolution to a national language in China and the use of simplified characters instead of traditional characters. She said the changeover to simplified characters in the People’s Republic of China was part of an effort under Chairman Mao Zedong to improve literacy rates. I did not realize that some characters in Mandarin may require up to 20 strokes to write. One of the issues with choosing a national language was the different dialects and accents spoken in China. However, the written language is the same so everyone can read the same characters. This is apparently the reason the Chinese news broadcasts always have the captioning on the screen – even if you cannot understand what the news anchor’s dialect or accent, most people can read the characters. (Taiwan uses the traditional characters, not the simplified characters.)

Fallows and her husband were living in China during the horrific earthquake in 2008 in Sichuan. It was interesting to hear her perspective of the event as she observed changes in the way the Chinese media reported on the rescue efforts in the week following the tragedy:

“There was something unusual about the TV programming and the TV language during early coverage of the earthquake. The programming was ragged and unpolished, and the language was unrehearsed and plainspoken, more like normal street chatter. This was a far cry from the usual carefully scrubbed and scrutinized productions, with their official jargon and heavy words. Everyone agreed, at least at the beginning, that the government was allowing ‘unprecedented transparency’ in media coverage.” - Excerpt from Dreaming in Chinese

This book, while not about Taiwan, was fascinating to read. It definitely helped me understand and appreciate some of the cultural differences.

I have rediscovered the wonderful world of books in the last few weeks, since my husband gave me a Kindle for Christmas. It’s like spending hours in a bookstore, but it’s more convenient because I don’t have four kids creating havoc in the store or begging me to leave.

I have just started reading Deborah Fallows’ Dreaming in Chinese. She and her husband lived in China for three years. It’s not the same as Taiwan, but I am fascinated by her experiences in understanding the Chinese culture and learning the language. I have only read the first few chapters – look for a review of her book here when I am finished. And if you have any book recommendations for me, I would love to hear them.

I really wanted to file our son’s paperwork with the court this morning, to begin the re-adoption process. But as with all the best-laid plans, our morning schedule had to be rearranged to fit in a last-minute trip to the pediatrician’s office for an ear infection diagnosis. As we were leaving the doctor’s office, it started to rain and I really didn’t want to have to unload all of the kids at the courthouse and trudge everyone through the rain (and possibly get our paperwork all wet, too).  I decided to go on to the courthouse, despite the pouring rain and hoping there would be a break in the showers. I told the kids if it was still pouring when we got there, we would just come back another day. As I got closer to the government center, the rain tapered off to a light drizzle. And when I pulled in the parking lot, there was a spot right at the front, across from the main entrance. How cool is that! God works out even the smallest details. Thank you, God!

Some of you may be wondering why we need to re-adopt our son. His adoption was final in Taiwan and we are his parents. The Commonwealth of Virginia did change its laws last year, allowing some families to obtain a birth certificate for an adopted child without the need to re-adopt. However our son’s immigration visa requires re-adoption in our home state. The re-adoption step is relatively simple and will ensure our son does not run into immigration issues later in life. He will have access to a birth certificate here in our state, rather than relying on a copy of his birth certificate from Taiwan. And his adoption will be recognized in our home state as well. Once this step is complete, we will have his Certificate of Foreign Birth in his American name, and we will request his Certificate of Citizenship from the US Government. The paperwork never seems to end but I can see the light at the end of the tunnel getting brighter…

Happy 2012! Hope the new year is off to a great start for you. We are busy getting back into our regular, homeschooling routine. I sometimes wonder what I did with all my time before motherhood – life can get so busy and one of my goals for this year is to simplify as much as possible. Last fall, I signed us up to participate in several activities (Bible study, Moms’ groups, etc). I’m not sure what I was thinking, especially as we were still adjusting to having our youngest son home. All of the activities were great – but our schedule had us running around most every day of the week and it just got to be too much. My best (and most productive) days are those that don’t require leaving home, although a trip through the Starbucks drive-thru is always an option. My New Year’s resolutions are simpler this year, too. Rather than setting lofty weight loss goals I may not be able to attain, I plan to take 2-3 cycling classes at the gym each week (or at least get to the gym to workout). I also want to continue the process of de-cluttering our home – the folks at Goodwill are getting to know me as I drop off items and it is such a great feeling to drive away and know that there is a little bit less clutter in our house and someone else can put our stuff to good use.

We have been home with our littlest guy for almost seven months. If you have been following our journey since we brought him home, you may recall he had no teeth yet when we met him in Taiwan. He now has 12 or 14 teeth in that little mouth of his. I tell you, he has been teething since the day we brought him home. (See the photos below, and look at how “toothy” his smile has become in only six months.) Despite all the teething, he has been a fairly happy little guy and seems to have made a smooth adjustment to our family. However, in the last few weeks, we have noticed a slight change in his personality – his smiles and giggles come more quickly and easily now. And for the last several months, at the table when we are eating together, he has had a habit of screeching continuously to get our attention. It has made mealtime a challenge, since it is very difficult to carry on a conversation when someone at the table is screeching. I think because he has developed a few more verbal skills, he is able to communicate a little better with us. We have tried sign language but that did not prevent the high-pitched screeching. I’m hoping we have turned the corner and our family can now resume talking to one another at dinnertime. Happy New Year, friends! May 2012 be a blessed year for you and your family!

A “white” Christmas in Taiwan

Posted: December 23, 2011 in Taiwan
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There will be a “white” Christmas in Tainan, Taiwan this year. As part of an effort to promote tourism in Tainan (former home to our two youngest sons), the city is hosting a White Christmas Festival. The festival features a Christmas tree made entirely of salt – 40 tonnes of salt! – sitting atop more salt to make it appear like a snowy patch. Since the daytime temperatures in Tainan average in the mid-70s right now, a truly white Christmas is very unlikely. The event organizers used salt for the tree and snow effect because Tainan used to be the hub of salt production for Taiwan. Salt apparently is more than just a food enhancer for some Taiwanese, as explained by event organizer Chang Cheng-yuan:

“From a traditional perspective, salt is used to drive away evil spirits and misfortunes and is also a symbol of blessing,” Chang added.

Tainan was once home to the Qigu Salt Pans, which were the largest in Taiwan and produced about 60 percent of the country’s salt.

However, the 338-year history of salt production in Taiwan came to an end in 2002 after the salt fields closed, as the local salt industry was unable to compete with cheap imported salt, the director said.

Chang said visitors to the festival could enjoy a variety of salt products, including salt coffee, salt eggs and creative works of art made of salt, and could even make their own salt at an old salt field.To read the full article in the Taipei Times, click here: http://www.taipeitimes.com/News/taiwan/archives/2011/12/23/2003521435

Merry Christmas from our family! We are grateful for all the adoptive families we have met along our journey, through this blog, on Facebook and in our community. The support, the encouragement, the friendships…it all has been such a blessing for our family. May you all have a wonderful Christmas and a Happy New Year! And for the many families waiting to adopt or bring children home, I pray for good news for your families soon.

Six months as a family of six

Posted: December 7, 2011 in Adoption
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Six months ago, we met our youngest son at an orphanage in Taiwan and began our adventure as a family of six. He is a curious little guy, and often finds mischief in places that went unnoticed by our other children. We are just beginning to see his personality emerge. Since I started writing this post, I have already removed him from sitting on top of the kitchen table three times. He is one determined little dude. He loves music, much like his older brother, and will dance (in his seat or on his feet) to the beat of a good song. I look forward to seeing how God will use each of our children, with their unique gifts, talents and interests. It is a blessing to watch them grow and develop, and I pray God will give me grace and patience as I parent these little ones.

 

The wonder of Christmas

Posted: December 5, 2011 in Uncategorized
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Christmas is less than three weeks away, and I am finding it very hard to get into the mood to do my Christmas shopping. I am more interested in experiencing the Christmas season with my family, rather than trying to find the perfect gift for each person on my list. It is moments like this one pictured below that I want to cherish and enjoy. To see the wonder in my children’s eyes as they take in Christmas, it’s worth more than any gift I could buy or receive.

What a year it has been…

Posted: November 10, 2011 in Adoption

One year ago, I was sitting in my kitchen visiting with a friend when the phone rang. I usually do not answer the phone when we have guests but when I saw the caller ID I had to answer the phone. It was our adoption agency director. She was calling to tell me our son had a biological baby brother in Taiwan, waiting to be adopted. I am so thankful my friend was here that day, because she was able to watch my kids and keep them entertained during that 30-minute conversation. We had to wait another 10 days or so to receive the baby boy’s file, which gave us time to process the news and make some decisions. I am so grateful the orphanage and our agency thought of our family and called us. Seven months after that phone call, we traveled to Taiwan and brought our youngest son home. Oh what a year this has been…we are so grateful for this little guy and having him as part of our family. Here he is, holding one of the photos we received a year ago.